off the grid

the only woman on earth
who to my face
in pencil
told me
you are a bad mother
met me in an unlikely place
with her husband
who has dedicated himself
to creating the life
for his family
I always wanted
to create
for
myself
and mine

off the grid

we all looked out
at the ocean
stood on a bridge
next to their red
biodiesel jeep
she didn’t apologize
but hugged me
asking
if I could care for
two of her five
children
while they
went on a date
she in her red mini skirt
having lost her mother’s belly
he uncharacteristically
buttoned up
crisp and clean

I did

the youngest escaped
while I gassed up
I caught her just before
the street
buckled her in twice
the oldest boy smiled
we headed down streets
too steep for life
the brakes were gone
not accelerating
not stopping either
I jumped the jeep
wrapped my huge arms
around it, held us
back
from tragedy
with my feet

it was all just a dream

except for the leaden
pronouncement
and my solar wind
powered longing
she still hates me
for the life I live
regardless
of fantastic feet
and a bridge
wielded by my psyche
to this woman in the waking
who is walking my dream

2011